by Arnold Sanow MBA,CSP
Associate of The Lett Group
Rapport can be defined as “bringing agreement, harmony and accord to a relationship”.
Isn’t that what we want in our connections – to discover points of mutual interest or
common ground, reach agreements, live and work together in harmony and enjoy
interactions along the way- with more ease? Rapport is the magic ingredient for getting
along with our customers, co-workers, colleagues, committee members, families, friends,
neighbors and everyone else we encounter in any role, anywhere, anytime. Getting along
means smoother sailing, fewer hassles, and more fun!
The key to revving up rapport lies in expressing the same qualities that people find
attractive. It’s the pleasure/pain principle in action. We move toward the people we likethose
who are easy to get along with, who make us feel comfortable, who bring out our
best qualities (including our smiles, laughter and good feelings).
In the reverse, we move away from those who bring us discomfort- those with whom we
find nothing in common, or who grate on our nerves, make us see red, hold up our plans,
don’t meet our expectations, give us headaches, or provoke other negative responses.
The relationships that bring us pleasure and good experiences are likely to endear as well
as endure, generating fond memories, long-lasting impressions and joyful feelings. In
contrast, the relationships that bring us discomfort and cause negative experiences are
likely to test our endurance; although their accompanying impressions, feelings, and
memories may also last, we probably wish they wouldn’t.
The ability to rev up your rapport is critical to creating enduring connections. Without it,
you’re more likely to suffer the pain and stress of troubled relationships and
disappointing connections. You may also miss out on wonderful opportunities and their
power to transform. All are typical fallout from choosing a life of disconnection
According to the book, “Get Along with Anyone, Anytime, Anywhere … 8 keys to
creating enduring connections with customers, co-workers – even kids, by Arnold Sanow
and Sandra Strauss here are key traits you must focus on to rev up your rapport;
Authenticity Good communication skills
Compassion Neat appearance
Confidence Positive attitude
Engaging style Social skills
Conversely, here are traits that typically turn people off or turn them away;
Abrasiveness Lack of humor
Apathy Negative attitude
Coldness Poor body language
Insensitivity Poor communication skills
Insincerity Poor social skills
Lack of appreciation Profanity
Lack of confidence Rudeness
Not only does rapport enhance your personal and professional relationships, it can also
boost your company’s bottom line. Communicating with insight, perception, and
empathy strengthens your efforts to keep customers happy, gain and maintain trust,
regain favor with disgruntled clients and customers and increase the likelihood of getting
their repeat business and their referrals. Likewise, building good rapport with colleagues
increases the quality of your working relationships, with corresponding impact on
productivity, creativity, cooperation, morale and overall job satisfaction.
As Norman Vincent Peale stated, “Getting people to like you is merely the other side of
For more information about Arnold Sanow and how to book him for your next event, contact The Lett Group at firstname.lastname@example.org or (301)946-8208.