22 Feb “Etiquette teachers” giving wrong advice
I love to see all of the articles written about etiquette in across the world. I keep up by using Google Alerts with the keywords “etiquette”, “business etiquette” and “international protocol”. I don’t have time to read all the articles but sometimes, like today, I do. A law school student at the University of Virginia wrote about an etiquette dinner given by Dr. Sharon Abrahams, the Miami-based director of professional development for international law firm McDermott Will & Emery.
I think it is wonderful when lawyers and law students attend etiquette dinners and seek to learn the proper way to handle themselves in the real world. What I cringe at is when the teacher teaches the wrong things. The article stated that she taught them to put their napkin on their plate when finished. Is she kidding? Put your linen or cloth napkin on a dirty plate so that someone else has to remove it with food and sauce all over it? No… you put your napkin to the left of your plate to indicate you will not be returning to the table.
Dr. Abrahams had other advice for the students regarding appropriate dress. The reporter stated that she said that men have more leeway to wear casual clothing {than women} because their professional images are not so closely tied to appearance. Again, is she kidding? The way you present yourself, whether for men or women, determines how you will be treated by others. Both sexes should aspire to dressing in the most polished way possible so that their clothing is not a negative distraction and reflects their level of professionalism.
From the article I understand that Dr. Abrahams earned her PhD in education and I am impressed that she chooses to teach this important subject to young legal professionals. I only hope she learns the proper etiquette to teach so that her students won’t look foolish following her advice. There is a generally accepted standard of proper etiquette which is what most etiquette teachers teach. We don’t make it up and we don’t base it upon our own upbringing. We must keep a consistent message. Most of all, it has to be based upon common sense and its reasoning has to be explained to the students before they will remember the rules and follow them.